Developing Final Portrait

With several different approaches to my self portraits following the idea of portraiture being limited in portraying one's whole identity, it has been difficult for me to narrow down a precise direction to undertake.

Where the previous digital painting is aesthetically pleasing capturing a dramatic instance of my identity, the later photographic manipulations prove significant on a conceptual level with several combined instances collectively portraying aspects of my identity. Thus, I tried to combine the two to progress onwards to form a complete final piece. Combining these two ideas has resulted undesirably with neither outcomes feeling decisive enough to fully deliver.



I experimented in layering several instances of myself that collective portray a greater whole of my identity, similar to my previous photographic layering of colour, yet this time with the aesthetic quality of a digital painting. Perhaps intriguing in their own right, I'm just not satisfied in the way each were developing to take them further. It seems a little too contrived and unimaginative in its execution which just leads me to feel a bit downhearted in thought.

Read on to next post

Layering of Self

Following the idea of portraiture capturing instances of oneself that pertain to the truth of ones' own identity as a whole, I have experimented with this colourful idea.



With a deliberate layering effect of colour, each 'instance' of my self collectively pertains to my identity. This first example bearing just two instances of myself as an experimentation, with the use of colour reflecting the mood and expression of each 'self'. The arching beams (remnants of the original photo) while providing intrigue and a sense of completion to composition as a whole, I think is now a little too abstract not really contributing to my identity.



I later took this further with several more instances of myself and better sense complimentary of colours for a stronger portrait. Each instance overlays each other for an intriguing effect pertaining to the sense of layers in the nature of identity, with the colours providing a visually striking presentation. Again, the lack of background focuses the piece as a whole with less abstract distortions to detract from the piece.

Overall, I am pleased with the result and wonder how much further I can take it visually and conceptually as a whole.

Scream

While working on a piece, I stumbled upon this rather dramatic composition that I thought worth saving - a happy accident if you will.



Similar to my previous obscure self-portraits, this piece captures an expressive moment in deliberate clarity. The lack of background once more provides an effective means in creating a dramatic composition that serves well for a gripping portrait. A sense of isolation also creeps in adding to a peculiar sense of depth to the piece as a whole. Where the previous lack of colour helped perpetuate a further sense of obscurity, the returning colour seems to ground the piece in reality for a dramatic effect.

In its entirety, I believe this portrait captures a precise instance of my own identity that becomes particularly expressive in a dramatic manner - something which I may come back to.

Obscurity

Indeed, I think we are so complex and fragmented as individuals constantly shifting and changing, that to capture all of this in in single portrait is simply unfathomable. To reflect this epiphany, I have explored some further techniques in photography (as to not limit myself to digital painting) experimenting with these compositions.

The lacking nature of a portrait can only lead us to obscurity as the composition in these pieces reflect this, being only able to see a small glimpse of my identity shrouded in darkness. While the lack of colour or any background environment further removes myself as the subject, focusing the piece and any aspect of my identity solely by my face alone.

Initial experimentation with a downward cast and subtle expression



Later, more refined experimentation with a more confrontational composition



The technique is perhaps a little simple, but I would argue effective in depicting the obscure nature of identity and the problems it implies on a self-portrait. At best, I think we can only capture instances of our identity that pertain to the truth of ones' own identity as a whole. With this in mind, I feel I can take this further to explore some further ideas.

Rage/Despair

Continuing from my previous digital painting portraits, I have tried a much more dynamic and expressive palette to achieve something more painterly, capturing an instance of my own identity. I originally intended to capture a raging anger, although sometimes as I look at it I find it more possessive of a quiet despair. Thus, the piece itself can reflect the layering of our multiple identities in the vigour of strokes suggestive of chaos, anger and despair.



Although I am pleased with the results, I wonder how much further I can take this on a conceptual level. It pains me to say it, but perhaps I have been caught up in the passion of creating a digital painting that is hampering my exploration of portraiture and the nature identity. With thoughts like these, I guess its time to move on and allow the concept to guide my aesthetic choices rather than the other way round.

The Essential Problem in Self Portraiture

What is the essential problem in creating a self portrait?

A question which I have been asking myself over the past few weeks to decipher a decisive problem to guide my aesthetic choices and come fourth with a solution.

I believe the essential problem in creating a self portrait is the inability to fully capture the identity of oneself in a singular image. Our identity as human beings is constantly shifting, fluid and many sided, how can one possibly hope to capture all of this? Perhaps, it can be said that there is no longer a single 'core' self, being so fragmented and deconstructed as individuals in a modern society. Can one only hope to capture an instance of ones own identity? And not in its complete entirety?

With this idea in mind, I will continue to explore this essential problem in portraiture which will help guide my aesthetic choices for my own self portrait.

Happy Portrait

I have had second thoughts uploading this portrait as I’ve come to gnawing realisation.



This portrait follows the similar premise of capturing a moment of expression that reflects an aspect of our identity. Here I have chosen to reflect a moment of absolute joy and happiness, where one briefly forgets ones troubles. Such a portrait was a nice change of pace from previous ‘sad’ portraits I have done over time.

Although I am pleased with the results, in hindsight, I feel I need to push my concepts further in order to fully realise a solid idea to its potential. It pains me to say it, but a tone of familiarity appears to be settling in that I think I must step back from in order to take this concept further or grasp a firmer concept.

As such, I feel the need to re-evaluate my ideas in search for something substantial that will spark my inspiration.

Digital Painting Portrait

Experimenting with some further ideas, here I have I returned to the expressive quality of painted portraiture being inspired by artists such as Cian Mcloughlin and Frank Auerbach. This digital painting self portrait is a trial to capture the essence of my inner being with focus on emotions of despair. As such, I have tried to maintain the use of bold loose strokes to create an expressive quality focusing on capturing the essence rather than physical detail. The background contributes to a sense of distraught and abandon with notable lack of clothing to keep focus on the essence.



I believe I have achieved this to a certain extent and am pleased with the results. The piece is not only more personal to me, but it also seems to capture an aspect of my identity that is kept away and personal to myself, similar to the ideas of Yousuf Karsh lifting the mask that we hide within revealing our innermost selves.

I may continue to pursue this line of concept in further exploring the nature of my own identity and ways to illustrate it.

Facial Symmetry

Seeing faces everyday all around us, one cannot help but begin to marvel at uniqueness of it all. Not one two faces are ever alike (discounting twins). The thought occurred to me how no face is ever symmetrical and well I started to play around with the idea in my mind. With a straight on photo of myself, I mirrored both the left and right side of my head with some stitching to form a ‘new’ me, resulting in some rather hilarious and more probably disturbing results.

Presented in triplet form, each face is completely different from each other as if there were three different people – a chimera of sorts, despite the fact they are composites solely of me. In a way, your face is your identity. The mask you wear for all to see and to carry yourself through life’s hardships. It is completely unique and exclusive to you. To be taken apart and re-stitched together to create a new identity is a rather intriguing concept I thought to test out.

Additionally with ideals of beauty, facial symmetry was believed to reflect physical attractiveness. So in this case, well let’s just say I don’t perpetuate this notion.

Overall, yes it’s weird and I wouldn’t look at it for too long. It was an experiment I wanted to try out playing with notions of identity and photo manipulation. I’m not sure if I’ll continue to pursue this line of thought or move on to explore further possibilities.

Comments and your thoughts are most welcome.

Quick Self Portraits

After my previous portrait, I felt loosening up could do some good. Here are some quick mirror studies I did ranging from 2 minutes to about 20 seconds. Coincidently, I find the ones I spent less time on much more pleasing not only to the eye but also to work with. Its a good exercise where you really do have to just let go and trust in your mark marking, boosting your confidence and technique.

As such, perhaps a more expressive approach can provide more interesting results, something of which I will consider.

Initial Portrait Study

Its been a little while since I did a digital portrait, and with portraiture in mind for the next project, I wanted to refresh myself with with a quick study.

I made this self portrait using Adobe Photoshop with a tablet, as a direct study using a mirror roughly taking 2-3 hours for me to complete. As a warm-up study for things to come, my intention was not to spend too long or get bogged down with this piece.

Its a good idea to save steps as you work through a piece for backup and reviewing purposes.

I feel satisfied with the piece, feeling it served its purpose in getting back into the swing of things. I think I messed up the colours a little along the way (with probably just about everything else) - skin in particular can be troublesome business!

Notice how my glasses distort the form on my left side? Yeah it happens in almost every angle... it just makes life difficult.

Hopefully in time to come, I will be able to produce a self-portrait that far excels this current piece, with additionally depth and meaning toward the nature of one's identity.

Once again, feel free to leave comments or constructive criticism if you will :)